Sex was given to
us as blessing from God. Most wedding
ceremonies utilize the phrase, “When two become one,” which is itself a
reference to sex. If sex is a blessing
from God, why is it not talked about? When
did it become a taboo subject? It seems
the world has no problem discussing sex or the other types of love play that
people may engage in however, others can’t talk about the topic without
blushing cheeks. There seem to be two
extremes: the secular view: we were made to have sex and enjoy our bodies, do
what pleases you and the conservative view:
sex is meant for a husband and wife and whatever is done should be kept
quiet. Can Christians have enjoyable or
dare I say, adventurous sex and still be pleasing to God?
Sex is intended for great
pleasure in a healthy marriage relationship that is set forth in the Bible.
This in turn sets it apart from some conservative views and many views of sex outside
of marriage. Nancy Pearcey, as a
response to the conservative view shares, “It is Christianity, with its repressive morality, that
prevents people from finding their true sexual identity.”[1] Sex is meant to be enjoyed in a Christian
marriage. Now is the time for
change when it comes to sex and Christian marriage. Sex is a blessing and can be fantastic because
of a Biblical worldview. Dennis Rainey
shares in his forward to the book Intended
for Pleasure about sex and God, “But it was God, not man who created
sex. What God designed, man has
distorted. What God sought to protect,
man has perverted. The result is a vast
wasteland of burned-out, strung-out, and stressed-out people who wonder not
only what sex is all about but also whom to trust.”[2]
Dr.
Kevin Lehman described it like this, “You see some of us guys treat sex like a
football playbook. We know what we’re
going to do, how we’re going to do it, and where we’re going to end up. The problem with this is that our wives soon
grow bored with the routine. They could
chart our movements and predict, within about ten seconds, how long we’re going
to spend upstairs before we go downstairs.
Your wife wants more than that.”[3]
One of the books of scripture that is often neglected
but shows the love of the spouse is the book Song of Solomon. While Jews and Christians have both tried to
make light of its reference, the true essence of the book is the love of
marriage. Lawerence Richards shares,
“Jewish and Christian commentators have been uncomfortable
with the explicit poetry found here, although sexual references are much more
delicate and restrained than in other love poems from the ancient Middle East.
Jewish scholars have treated it as an allegory of God’s love for Israel, and
Christians have seen it as an image of Jesus’ love for the church, to be
consummated at the Second Coming. But it is better to take this poem for what it
seems to be: a celebration of God’s gift of married love. It is a refreshing
affirmation of the biblical view that in the union of husband and wife there
exists a rewarding and total intimacy.”[4]
For any married couple, the long song of Song of Solomon is crucial to look at and study to find out what a true marriage should look like. The Biblical writer shares this, “My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. “Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills,” (Song of Sol. 2:16-17). The marriage bed is meant for man and wife to share in intimacy with one another. In the context of the biblical affirmation of sex, the Song of Songs takes on a special role. As a love poem it is designed to help us sense the joy, and join in the celebration of that which is essentially good. Delicately, and sensitively, we are invited in the Song of Songs to sense the nature of a pure sensuality: a sensuality that releases the believer to fully enjoy the gift of sex within the context of marital commitment.[5]
Sex is intended for great
pleasure in a healthy marriage relationship that is set forth in the Bible.
This in turn sets it apart from some conservative views and views of sex
outside of marriage. In order to truly
grasp what the Bible’s view on sex is, it must be discussed. Sex is a pleasure that is given to us from
God. Just as we discuss our wants and
needs or the desires of our hearts, we have to communicate about sex in the
same way. If we do not spend time
talking with our spouses on sex and thoughts on sex, we will never have a
fulfilling relationship. Christians can
have good sex, it takes good communication and knowing that sex came from God
for us to enjoy in a marriage, sometimes that is easy to forget. God created sex and it is meant for us to
enjoy.
[1]
Nancy Pearcey, Total Truth: Liberating
Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books,
2004), 144.
[2] Ed Wheat, Gaye Wheat and Dennis Rainey. Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage. (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2010), 9.
[3] Kevin Lehman, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House, 2008), 3.
[4]Lawrence O. Richards, The Bible Readers Companion. electronic ed. (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1991; Published in electronic form by Logos Research Systems, 1996) 402.
[5]Larry Richards and Lawrence Richards, The Teacher's Commentary (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1987), 309.
