The only way life could get better is if my wife made me a sandwich whenever I asked

Wives submit to your husbands. This phrase can tick people off. Why should I have to submit? Why is this in the Bible? Why would God be against women? Why does man have this much authority over women? The questions over this simple verse can go on and on. Let me try to shed some light on this subject.

This is from Colossians 3:18 but I will go over 19 too, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord…Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

This is what the Message translation says in verse 18-19, “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master. Husbands, go all out in love for your wives, Don’t take advantage of them.”

It’s easy to look at scripture and manipulate scripture to say what you want it too. This is what Norman Geisler said in the Bible Knowledge Commentary about this scripture:

            “Wives are to submit to their husbands as their heads. This command was not limited to Paul’s day, as is obvious from two reasons he gave elsewhere: (1) the order of Creation (man was created first, then woman; 1 Tim. 2:13); (2) the order  within the Godhead (Christ submits to the Father; 1 Cor. 11:3). Submission or subordination does not mean inferiority; it simply means that the husband, not the wife, is head of the home. If he may be thought of as the “president,” she is           the “vice-president.”^[1] Of course there are moral limits to this submission; it is only as is fitting in the Lord. Just as obedience to government is commanded (Rom.13:1; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 2:13) but only insofar as government takes its place under God (Ex. 1; Dan. 3; 6), even so a wife’s submission to her husband is only “in the Lord.” That is, she is not obligated to follow her husband’s leadership if it conflicts with specific scriptural commands.^[2]

It has to follow scriptural commands. This doesn’t mean if I want a sandwich, Hailee better make it for me without any grief. I think the verse 19 is just as important, Geisler said:

            “Husbands are responsible to love their wives (as Christ loved the church; Eph. 5:28–29). So they are to exercise loving leadership, not dictatorial dominion. Perhaps husbands need this reminder to be tender and loving as much or more than wives need the reminder not to usurp authority over their husbands. Assuming absolute authority will only embitter one’s wife, not endear her. The words be harsh translate pikrainesthe, which is more literally, “make bitter.” (A     different word is used in Col. 3:21; see comments there.) Wives, like tender and sensitive flowers (cf. 1 Peter 3:7), may wilt under authoritarian dominance but blossom with tender loving care. So in a maturing marriage the husband exercises compassionate care and his wife responds in willing submission to this loving leadership.^[3]

I love the phrase happy wife, happy life. If we aren’t trying to make our spouses happy, how do we expect to be happy? Marriage is about sacrifice, looking for each other’s best interest instead of our own. Yes, husbands are called to lead, but lead like Christ leads the church. Having the greatest love and ability to sacrifice himself for the Church. We are supposed to do that for our spouse.

Everyday I grow more in love with my wife. She has been really amazing to me through the years and even more over the past couple of weeks. I really don’t know where I would be without her.

If we claim to be Christian, our life is supposed to be honoring God. This needs to happen in marriage too. What are you doing to honor God in your marriage? What are you doing to show love for your spouse?

Have a great day.

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^[1] Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.

^[2] Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.

^[3] Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.

I make the money so I will do with it what I want

That wasn’t a joke this guy is serious. For the first time in a long time I was speechless. Several years ago I was riding in a car with a church leader as the subject switched to money and marriage. He went on to tell me him and his wife have an understanding with money. He is the head of the household, so he will do with it what he wants.

I thought he was joking. He then went on to explain if he decided to go golfing and it was between an average course that costs $40 for 18 holes and a cart or a nicer course that costs a lot more money he was going to take the one that costs more money. He said clear as day, “I make the money in our house, so I will do with it what I want. If I want to go golf at an expensive course I will.” The first 10 seconds, I was smiling and thought he was joking. I thought he was going to follow this up with a joke about making sure a sandwich was ready for him when he got home. After looking at his facial expressions and waiting another 10 seconds, I realized he was not joking and was dead serious. It was an awkward drive after that.

This goes back to one of the most misunderstood scriptures I deal with in premarital counseling that comes from the section Instructions for Christian Households Ephesians 5:21-6:9. The main scripture people use is 5:22, “Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”

It’s comical in a bad way how people can mess up this section. Verse 21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” People miss the verse before this completely. Then if you look at the amount of verses. Paul gave women three verses to follow 22-24. Yet he gave men 25-33. Women you have three instructions and men, you need nine. I heard a sermon where the pastor said, women get this, they only need three verses, but men, we are a little thickheaded and Paul had to explain this out in further detail.

When talking about the husband as head of the household, The Bible Knowledge Commentary stated, “The reason for this submission is that the husband is the head of the wife (cf. 1 Cor. 11:3), and this is compared to Christ’s headship over the church (Eph. 5:23; cf. 4:15; Col. 1:18). As Christ is the Savior of the church, His body, so a husband should be the protector of his wife, who is “one flesh” with him (Gen. 2:24). As the church is in submission to Christ, so also a wife should be to her husband. It would be foolish to think of the church being head over Christ. But submission does not mean inferiority. It means that she recognizes that her husband is the head of the home and responds to him accordingly without usurping his authority to herself.^[1]

I personally believe that men are supposed to be the leaders in the home. A leader is not a dictator; it’s trying to know what’s best for the family. This can be a tough slippery slope as I have heard numerous stories of men abusing this. I have seen multiple marriages in trouble, the wife wanted and desperately needed the husband to go to marriage counseling only to be ignored. I have seen marriages in financial problems when the wife wanted to do a financial program like Dave Ramsey’s FPU program and the husband said, “We don’t need that.” One of the best ways I have heard this coming from a wife was, “Yes my husband is the head but I am the neck and I can turn the head anyway I please.”

 Men need to stand up and do what’s right. In verse 25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” The word love in this section goes back to the Greek word agape or agapao. This is described as seeking the highest good for another person. This is what Jesus did for us when he died on the cross for our sins. He fully gave himself up for us. This is what Christ asks us to do in verse 21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Christ fully gave himself up for us and we are called to do the same in marriage.

“A wife’s submission in no way hints that a husband may lord it over his spouse, as a despot commanding a slave. The “submit-love” relationship is a beautiful mixture of harmonious partnership in marriage.” – Bible Knowledge Commentary

If you are married, what is a way you can show love towards your spouse today? If it has been rocky lately, what can you do to help your spouse out and show them love in action today?

Have a great day.

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^[1] Harold W. Hoehner, “Ephesians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 640–641.

Marriage Debates: Store Brand vs. Name Brand

Even a trip to the grocery store can be a debate in a marriage. Hailee and I were young in our relationship when it came time to go grocery shopping. We went to the store and started to grab things to buy, except there was one main difference. I would grab the store brand and Hailee would grab the name brand. Soon we stop the cart and it was on.

As a kid, our mom was a thrift shopper. She either had a coupon or we bought store brand for everything we bought. Hailee grew up if there was something she wanted, she would just throw it in the cart, therefore she was used to getting name brand on everything. While we were extremely new to this relationship, this was one of our first conflicts. Who would win?

I started my case based off being cheap and better tasting. The price was so much cheaper for the store brand and basically was better. I grew up on Meijer’s Mac and Cheese to the point when I was in middle and high school my Mom bought a case or two of it because we went through it so quickly. Hailee on the other hand loved Kraft Mac and Cheese, she said that it was worth the extra money and tasted so much better. So we ended up compromising, we went half and half. We would either mix the two boxes together or we would split times having Kraft or Store Brand. Marriage is when two worlds collide.

There is a reason the phrase For richer, for poorer is in the wedding vows. Everyone would like to say we are going to make an abundance of money and we will live happily ever after, but often that is not the case. There is no easy button in life or marriage. Money is still the number 1 reason for divorce in this country. This isn’t because you have it or you don’t but how you handle your money. Are you willing to give up money for marriage? How much is love worth to you?

There is a great phrase, “Love Costs Everything.” Love and Marriage requires us not to care about winning the fight but winning the relationship. Most fights are over stupid and pointless things. What are you willing to give up in order to have a successful marriage? How important is money?

When we look at relationships, Jesus was willing to give up everything for us. 2 Corinthians 8:9…

“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he become poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.”

Jesus didn’t have to come to earth and take the burdens of our sin yet he did. Jesus took our sins on the cross for us. He became poor. Jesus took on our debt so that we could be rich in life. Jesus thought we were so worth the cost, he died for us. We are rich in life because he came to earth as a humble servant and died for us like the Secret Service is putting their life on the line for the President.

Great sacrifices have great rewards. Sacrifice and compromise is key for any marriage to survive. What sacrifices have you made for your spouse and expected nothing in return? The more we do this, the better the marriage will be. I read a line, “You have to invest in a marriage for it to be worth the investment.” It’s the same way with faith.

Jesus died and rose on the cross for us. Investing your life into Christ is the single biggest decision you can ever make (Choosing the right spouse is second to me). You can have eternal life. Jesus became a servant who took your sins for you. All you have to do is accept him as your personal Lord and Savior. This week is Easter, the time to learn about the greatest sacrifice ever made. Find a church, find out about the greatest sacrifice that was made for you.

Have a great day.

Should Christians Marry Non-Christians?

2 Corinthians 6:14 starts out with, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” This is a different subject to look at. Often I have this question asked of me when it comes to marriage. This section of scripture in 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1 goes so much more then just marriage, but it’s a tough question that I have had to look into with some couples I have talked to about marriage.

Years ago there was an article and lawsuit that dealt with this subject. There was a couple that was deeply in love and wanted to get married. The wife was Jewish and the husband was Catholic. The husband being so in love said, hey it’s the same God and he rarely went to church anyway so he converted. They got married and had a baby before the marriage hit the rocks. Soon divorce was inevitable.

As they were going through the divorce the husband started to go back to the Catholic Church. Soon pictures showed up with his child being baptized. The wife was ticked. She filed a lawsuit against him and tried to get him from being able from seeing his child because he promised to raise their child Jewish. What a mess and confusing situation. I never did find out the results of this story, but it happens from time to time. When two people don’t see things the same way, problems can happen. Now this scripture goes beyond a marriage.

This scripture goes into life with false apostles. There were people that were distracting Christians from serving and praising Jesus. Paul NEVER mentions that Christians shouldn’t associate with unbelievers. Christians interacting with people is an everyday aspect of life. What Paul brings up is if a person associates a lot with an unbeliever, it might mess with their devotion to Christ.

In this section Paul asked self-reflection questions about this in verses 14-16. This is to show there are some major differences that need to be address and looked upon. Paul end this section of scripture with talking about getting us to purify ourselves from contamination and trying to be holy out of respect to God and what he did through Jesus.

So when we look at the beginning question about marriage, there are some problems when looking at this subject. I prayed with some older ladies who are some of the most dedicated Christians I have ever met and there spouse won’t step foot in the Church. I have seen these ladies in tears and crying knowing at any moment one of them could pass away and they are not sure if the spouse will be in heaven. It’s tough and I don’t have an answer for that other then prayer.

In pre-martial counseling we look at this subject. We talk about how we want our kids to be raised and if problems could come up in this area. Would they have a problem if their kids were raised different then how they were? Communication must be key.

Just because someone is an unbeliever doesn’t mean they are an awful person. I have seen Non-Christian parents be loving, caring, great people and some of the best parents I have ever seen. I have seen marriages where the couple have been together like this and have great marriages. Some are the best marriage examples I have seen are from a couple like this.

Eternal life is the problem. If one of the people in the marriage is not Christian, they won’t both be in heaven. This is scary to me. To know people I love with all my heart might not be in heaven. I would hate to see that happen to a loving couple and I pray that people know Christ so they won’t have to deal with the problem that ensues. Each of us will have to face judgment one day and it’s going to be whether we accept Christ or not. I would hate for amazing couple to be separated for eternity.

Have a great day.

Withholding sex in marriage

Break up over video games is funny and true. I had a friend that was dating this girl. He had a long day at work and was ready to head home and play some video games. His girlfriend called and asked if he wanted to hang out. He told her, I had a long day at work and I’m ready to chill and play some video games. She said ok, well I will just come over and watch you play video games, he didn’t understand but said ok. She came over, he was hanging out and playing video games, after about 15 minutes she got angry and asked if he was going to spend anytime with her. He replied I had a long day, I want to relax and play video games and you knew that coming over. She got more mad and said, “I am not dealing with this, its me or the video games.” He replied, “Seeya.” He broke up with a girlfriend over video games.

It might not always be a good thing to be in a relationship. Paul shares in a long section on Marriage in 1 Corinthians 7 about whether it’s good to marry or not and what sex is in a marriage. This goes on for 40 verses but this is the first couple of verses…

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Sex is meant for a man and wife in marriage. Outside of that can be a major problem. Now God does show grace and mercy and almost all of us including myself have made mistakes in this regard. I am a firm believer that the best sex you will ever have will take place between a husband and wife in marriage. You learn what each other like and God blesses sex when it’s done in the right way in a marriage. It states about not trying to hold sex from the other spouse. The goal of a marriage is to be responsible to satisfy each other’s desires.

Verse 5 shares that couple were trying to maintain celibacy in marriage, WHAT???? Couples were refraining from sex because one of the people did not want to have sex. It was not agreed that they would be holding out on sex. This lead to cheating on the part of the other mate. Paul gave them only three ways withholding sex was ok according to the Bible Knowledge Commentary. 1. It was a mutual consent from husband and wife. 2. They would agree on a time when normal intercourse would occur. 3. They were able to devote themselves to prayer in a deep way. Outside of this is a sin.

Marriage is about meeting each other’s desires it involves much more then sex, but sex is included. If you are married, are you doing everything necessary to please your spouse? This isn’t about what they are or aren’t doing. What do you need to do to improve your marriage and make it better? If you are single please read through this scripture. There are plenty of benefits to remaining single. Maybe video games mean more to you then a relationship.

Have a great day.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years…then we met

A funny line about marriage from the great Rodney Dangerfield. Marriage is full of amazing times and amazingly bad times too. There isn’t a perfect marriage just like there isn’t a perfect human (Other than Jesus). So how do we fall into false ideas about marriage?

 

Hailee and I have had many good times in marriage and had times we needed help. Marriage isn’t about being perfect, there will always be mistakes. One of the saddest states of marriage is when a couple or spouse isn’t willing to go to counseling or listen to what a counselor says. I have heard this many times. We can handle the issues on our own or the problem is with them rather than me. I can honestly say Hailee and I went to counseling in the first year of our marriage and it was my fault. I had to own up to things I was not doing right in our marriage and admit to that. Without admitting I needed counseling, things would not have gotten any better. Even the best marriages I know could use help from time to time.

 

Paul shared a quote about marriage when talking about the law God created and the authority he has over man. Romans 7:2-3…

“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.”

 

Going back in the Old Testament, you were married and one of the acts of showing you were married was the act of sex. When two become one can be justified as sex, while we aren’t given a clean straight Bible verse on what made a marriage, sex was part of the consummation.

Imagine for those who have had multiple partners you could be considered married to your first love and cheat on him/her with everyone else. Weird enough for you? Paul talks about a women whose husband is not dead (The phrase till death do you part comes to mind) and she marries/have sex with another man, it’s an affair. Only if her husband dies is it legal to marry again. People have taken marriage in a different way.

 

God gave us marriage, not arrogance. Marriage is full of mistakes because of us. We have done things before we are married, while we are married or maybe in our second marriages and beyond that are wrong. I have seen people get divorced over not being happy anymore (No fairy tale marriage exists) and almost every reason in between. If you think once we are married my spouse will change, most likely not. More likely is the fact your spouse will let their guard down and be a little worse. Yet there is beauty in marriage.

 

I thank God for my wife everyday. She is wonderful, she looks beautiful, puts up with all of my faults (There are many) and encourages me when I feel down. I thank God for giving me Hailee in marriage. A great marriage can make you do amazing things you never thought of yourself as doing (One of the many, I never thought I would get a Master’s degree). A bad marriage can make you miserable.

 

What do you want in life to be happy or miserable? When Paul mentions about marriage in the verse about, I would imagine some people being in marriages they weren’t happy in and hopeful that there spouse might die or they were looking forward to ending things with them. Is marriage worth fighting for? I believe so, but do you? Do you think is marriage is worth putting your own selfish desires aside for better ones?

 

If you are in a relationship or a marriage and it’s not going well get help. If you have a broken leg you go to the doctors. If you have a broken marriage do the same. Get help, a great marriage can fulfill your greatest desires as humans. Is that something you want? If you are married what is something you could do for your spouse today to help your relationship out? If your relationship is not going well, don’t be stubborn like a donkey, get help.

 

Have a great day.

 

10 years with the ball and chain

Ready for the good ole ball and chain.

I feel bad for whoever described being married to the analogy the ball and chain.

That would just suck.

Seeing marriages struggle is never an easy thing.

As a minister and coming from a multiple divorce family, I have seen where marriage can be like a prison and struggle.

Where selfish desires can take over and people just think of themselves over the other or the family.

I am proud to say I am on the other side of the spectrum.

No matter the fact that someone once told Hailee and I to our faces our marriage would only last 3 months, I am here 10 years later to say I love my marriage and my wife even more than I did 10 years ago.

I didn’t think that was possible.

Marriage is not always easy.

It takes love and sacrifice beyond just saying I love you.

Love is not a word it’s an action.

You show you love someone with what you do with your life for that other person.

A good marriage is about sacrifice for a greater cause.

Yet I am a screw up.

I have messed up plenty of times in my marriage.

I am not perfect.

Yet I have a loving wife who is graceful and forgiving.

She honestly has made me a better person and I cherish her for that.

As I sit here writing this from a dorm room at CIY with my wife 100 miles away, I can honestly say I miss her and wish I were there but there is a greater purpose then just our marriage.

When Hailee and I got married, we said God would be first in our relationship.

He has been.

Part of the reason Hailee and I can move forward together has been our ability to forgive one another.

I wouldn’t have that forgiveness without knowing that no matter what Christ forgave us and we need to forgive each other.

I am gone taking students on an amazing trip where they grow closer to God.

It has been a great week watching these amazing individuals grow closer to God and that takes precedence over my own selfish desires.

I look forward to tonight when I get to spend time with my wife.

Hailee is the most amazing women I have even met (Sorry mom).

She is beautiful on the inside and the outside.

She has always made me laugh.

There was a Facebook post about marriage and be like having a sleep over every night with your best friend, I can honestly say that is correct.

Hailee is my best friend.

My Jason’s are a close second, but Hailee trumps them.

She knows my insecurities and strengthens me rather than tearing me apart.

She lifts me up when I am down.

She is smoking hot!

She has given me three wonderful children and a soon to be fourth.

She has dealt with where I felt I was called.

“I married a sports writer not a minister, I didn’t sign up for this,” she would say while joking.

Hailee never stood in my way.

She always wanted me to pursue my goals and help me accomplish them.

I don’t know if I would have a college degree more or less a master’s degree without Hailee.

She is truly my better half and I believe that everyday.

I have done many stupid things and Hailee has put up with me.

Before we were dating Hailee was dating someone else and we were just friends.

She broke up with him and I tried to take our friendship to the next level.

Soon she invited me to dinner.

At this dinner she was going to tell me that she was going to get back with her ex.

We were talking and having a good conversation but soon she told me her plan.

People, I have never done this before and still can’t believe I said this then…

I said that’s ok, because I think we are meant to be together and I know it’s not going to workout out between you guys.

Then sticking my foot into my mouth further…

I said, “I think God wants us to be together and I will wait for your relationship to end because I know we are supposed to be together.”

I couldn’t believe the words that just came from my mouth.

I knew I found my wife, she thought I was crazy (Little did she know I was crazy J).

Weeks later, we start dating.

We started dating on Super Bowl Sunday.

Three weeks later in the most romantic way, I asked Hailee to marry me while watching a commercial to Ally McBeal.

She said yes and we haven’t been apart since.

Hailee is the most amazing person I have met.

I cherish all our time together through the good and the bad, til death do us part, I still to love you with every piece of my heart (God bless you All 4 One for coming up with the song I Swear).

I thank God for him putting you in my life and can’t wait to see my wife later on today!

Have a great day (I know I will!)

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. -Anonymous

Fairy tales aren’t real.

And they lived happily ever after….yeah right.

If you are surprised by that…bless your heart.

No matter how much kid movies show the happily ever after in real life we know this isn’t always true.

What would Prince Charming do if he came home and found his bathroom covered in makeup and other girl products?

How would Cinderalla respond if she found out that Prince Charming has really bad gas?

Nothing is perfect in marriage.

The quote goes…

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed." (Albert Einstein)

Nothing is perfect in marriage.

Sometimes things are great and sometimes they are bad.

This is the way so many things are in life.

Whether it’s…

·         Relationships
·         Friendships
·         Jobs
·         Sports teams
·         Faith

There isn’t a perfect faith.

Faith is about having issues, making mistakes, feeling guilt and love at the same time.

It can be a struggle.

Faith is not happily ever after until an earthly death.

When I meet with someone to talk about baptism, I tell them this is the start of faith, not the end.

You get challenged in your faith and need help sometimes.

Listen to how Paul and Barnabas try to help people out in Acts 14:22…

“Strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.”

Anything worth doing is worth fighting for.

I have seen many struggles in faith through the years.

I have seen some of the most faithful people I know go through a struggle in their life and turn their back on their faith.

Faith isn’t easy.

It sounds so easy to have faith sometimes.

Just love God and love people.

Sounds simple enough then it turns.

Now we are wondering what faith is about when…

·         People question us on current issues
·         When we wonder how or who to vote for
·         What are views on current issues etc.

Faith is not easy.

If faith was easy, just like marriage, everyone would do it and stay with it through the tough times.

It’s the tough times that are the challenge.

You will never have all the answers in marriage or faith.

Yet through it all I still believe in marriage and I believe in Jesus through thick and thin.

Paul and Barnabas lifted and encourage the people while also letting them know that faith isn’t easy.

If you are struggling in marriage, faith or other areas of your life…

Don’t give up.

Life isn’t always easy but life is so much fun at the same time.

Hang in there, things will improve.

Have a great day.

You'll be divorced in three months

There are people that don’t care about you or what you stand for.

Some of those people will say things to your face or behind your back.

You could be doing good and they could start talking behind your back to make things worse rather than better.

I got engaged at the young age of 19 and most people were surprised when I told them I was engaged.

I went around my job one day and told people that I was getting married.

One person told you the way things would be said this phrase…

“You’ll be divorced in three months.”

Wow.

I couldn’t believe someone would be that bold to say that.

You will be divorced in three months?

That’s messed up.

We had a conversation and she told me that her friend and her husband were together everything was going great and they got divorced quickly.

I said will it’s different because we believe in God and are faithful people.

She said, “So were they.”

10 years later, I do not write this to say hey been married 10 years but rather to say there are some people that will lift you up in life and others that won’t..

Some people will be against you.

Paul and Barnabas were doing some pretty cool things in Iconium.

They were speaking about the Gospel of Jesus and many people believed.

Yet there were people that weren’t happy with this fact.

It said this in Acts 14:2, 4-5…

“But the Jews who refused to believe stirred up the Gentiles and poisoned their minds against the brothers…The people of the city were divided; some sided with the Jews, others with the apostles.  There was a plot afoot among the Gentiles and Jews, together with their leaders, to mistreat them and stone them.”

There will always be people that are for you and some that will be against you.

People will question what you believe, what you do with your life and who you are trying to be.

Some people will encourage and some will not.

There are deceivers among you.

Will you let that affect you?

People will get other people that are deceivers that try to ruin a good thing.

I have seen this happen to me and I have done this to others.

The people against Paul were poison.

They took the good things Paul was for and made people against them.

Are you in this situation now?

Paul and Barnabas didn’t let these people that tried to kill them stop them.

Are you letting poisonous people destroy your life or are you fighting the good fight and staying strong.

With man there are only certain things you can do.

With God nothing is impossible.

Stay strong even when people are against you.

Not everyone is going to be happy with you or what you stand for.

With God nothing is impossible.

Are you for or against the one that makes everything possible?

Some people will say thing to irritate you maybe it’s like saying your marriage will only last three months or something like that.

If you are going through a rough time right now, I pray for you and lift you up.

Hang in there during the tough times, something good is just around the corner.

Have a great day.

Great Sex: God Gave It To Enjoy It…In Marriage

Sex was given to us as blessing from God.  Most wedding ceremonies utilize the phrase, “When two become one,” which is itself a reference to sex.  If sex is a blessing from God, why is it not talked about?  When did it become a taboo subject?  It seems the world has no problem discussing sex or the other types of love play that people may engage in however, others can’t talk about the topic without blushing cheeks.  There seem to be two extremes: the secular view: we were made to have sex and enjoy our bodies, do what pleases you and the conservative view:  sex is meant for a husband and wife and whatever is done should be kept quiet.  Can Christians have enjoyable or dare I say, adventurous sex and still be pleasing to God?

Sex is intended for great pleasure in a healthy marriage relationship that is set forth in the Bible. This in turn sets it apart from some conservative views and many views of sex outside of marriage.  Nancy Pearcey, as a response to the conservative view shares, “It is Christianity, with its repressive morality, that prevents people from finding their true sexual identity.”[1]  Sex is meant to be enjoyed in a Christian marriage.  Now is the time for change when it comes to sex and Christian marriage.  Sex is a blessing and can be fantastic because of a Biblical worldview.  Dennis Rainey shares in his forward to the book Intended for Pleasure about sex and God, “But it was God, not man who created sex.  What God designed, man has distorted.  What God sought to protect, man has perverted.  The result is a vast wasteland of burned-out, strung-out, and stressed-out people who wonder not only what sex is all about but also whom to trust.”[2]

            Dr. Kevin Lehman described it like this, “You see some of us guys treat sex like a football playbook.  We know what we’re going to do, how we’re going to do it, and where we’re going to end up.  The problem with this is that our wives soon grow bored with the routine.  They could chart our movements and predict, within about ten seconds, how long we’re going to spend upstairs before we go downstairs.  Your wife wants more than that.”[3]

          One of the books of scripture that is often neglected but shows the love of the spouse is the book Song of Solomon.  While Jews and Christians have both tried to make light of its reference, the true essence of the book is the love of marriage.  Lawerence Richards shares,

“Jewish and Christian commentators have been uncomfortable with the explicit poetry found here, although sexual references are much more delicate and restrained than in other love poems from the ancient Middle East. Jewish scholars have treated it as an allegory of God’s love for Israel, and Christians have seen it as an image of Jesus’ love for the church, to be consummated at the Second Coming. But it is better to take this poem for what it seems to be: a celebration of God’s gift of married love. It is a refreshing affirmation of the biblical view that in the union of husband and wife there exists a rewarding and total intimacy.”^[4]

For any married couple, the long song of Song of Solomon is crucial to look at and study to find out what a true marriage should look like.  The Biblical writer shares this, “My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. “Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills,” (Song of Sol. 2:16-17).  The marriage bed is meant for man and wife to share in intimacy with one another.  In the context of the biblical affirmation of sex, the Song of Songs takes on a special role. As a love poem it is designed to help us sense the joy, and join in the celebration of that which is essentially good. Delicately, and sensitively, we are invited in the Song of Songs to sense the nature of a pure sensuality: a sensuality that releases the believer to fully enjoy the gift of sex within the context of marital commitment.^[5]

Sex is intended for great pleasure in a healthy marriage relationship that is set forth in the Bible. This in turn sets it apart from some conservative views and views of sex outside of marriage.  In order to truly grasp what the Bible’s view on sex is, it must be discussed.  Sex is a pleasure that is given to us from God.  Just as we discuss our wants and needs or the desires of our hearts, we have to communicate about sex in the same way.  If we do not spend time talking with our spouses on sex and thoughts on sex, we will never have a fulfilling relationship.  Christians can have good sex, it takes good communication and knowing that sex came from God for us to enjoy in a marriage, sometimes that is easy to forget.  God created sex and it is meant for us to enjoy.

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[1] Nancy Pearcey, Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2004), 144.

[2] Ed Wheat, Gaye Wheat and Dennis Rainey. Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage. (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2010), 9.

[3] Kevin Lehman, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House, 2008), 3.

^[4]Lawrence O. Richards, The Bible Readers Companion. electronic ed. (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1991; Published in electronic form by Logos Research Systems, 1996) 402.

^[5]Larry Richards and Lawrence Richards, The Teacher's Commentary (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1987), 309.