Wives submit to your husbands. This phrase
can tick people off. Why should I have to submit? Why is this in the Bible? Why
would God be against women? Why does man have this much authority over women?
The questions over this simple verse can go on and on. Let me try to shed some
light on this subject.
This is from Colossians 3:18 but I will go
over 19 too, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the
Lord…Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
This is what the Message translation says in
verse 18-19, “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them
in ways that honor the Master. Husbands, go all out in love for your wives,
Don’t take advantage of them.”
It’s easy to look at scripture and manipulate
scripture to say what you want it too. This is what Norman Geisler said in the
Bible Knowledge Commentary about this scripture:
“Wives
are to submit to their husbands as their heads. This command
was not limited to Paul’s day, as is
obvious from two reasons he gave elsewhere: (1) the order of Creation (man was created first, then woman; 1 Tim.
2:13); (2) the order within
the Godhead (Christ submits to the Father; 1 Cor. 11:3). Submission or subordination does not mean inferiority; it
simply means that the husband, not the
wife, is head of the home. If he may be thought of as the “president,” she is the “vice-president.”[1]
Of course there are moral limits to this submission; it is only as is fitting in the Lord. Just as obedience to government is
commanded (Rom.13:1; Titus
3:1; 1 Peter 2:13) but only insofar as government takes its place under God (Ex. 1; Dan. 3; 6), even
so a wife’s submission to her husband is only “in
the Lord.” That is, she is not
obligated to follow her husband’s leadership if it conflicts with specific scriptural commands.[2]
It has to follow scriptural commands. This
doesn’t mean if I want a sandwich, Hailee better make it for me without any
grief. I think the verse 19 is just as important, Geisler said:
“Husbands are responsible to love
their wives (as Christ loved the
church; Eph. 5:28–29). So they are to
exercise loving leadership, not dictatorial dominion. Perhaps husbands need this reminder to be tender and loving as much
or more than wives need the
reminder not to usurp authority over their husbands. Assuming absolute authority will only embitter one’s
wife, not endear her. The words be harsh translate pikrainesthe, which is more literally, “make bitter.” (A different word is used in Col. 3:21; see
comments there.) Wives, like tender and sensitive
flowers (cf. 1 Peter 3:7), may wilt under authoritarian dominance but blossom with tender loving care. So in a
maturing marriage the husband exercises
compassionate care and his wife responds in willing submission to this loving leadership.[3]
I love
the phrase happy wife, happy life. If we aren’t trying to make our spouses
happy, how do we expect to be happy? Marriage is about sacrifice, looking for
each other’s best interest instead of our own. Yes, husbands are called to
lead, but lead like Christ leads the church. Having the greatest love and
ability to sacrifice himself for the Church. We are supposed to do that for our
spouse.
Everyday
I grow more in love with my wife. She has been really amazing to me through the
years and even more over the past couple of weeks. I really don’t know where I
would be without her.
If we
claim to be Christian, our life is supposed to be honoring God. This needs to
happen in marriage too. What are you doing to honor God in your marriage? What
are you doing to show love for your spouse?
Have a
great day.
[1]
Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The
Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F.
Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.
[2]
Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The
Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F.
Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.
[3]
Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The
Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord
and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.
