The only way life could get better is if my wife made me a sandwich whenever I asked

Wives submit to your husbands. This phrase can tick people off. Why should I have to submit? Why is this in the Bible? Why would God be against women? Why does man have this much authority over women? The questions over this simple verse can go on and on. Let me try to shed some light on this subject.

This is from Colossians 3:18 but I will go over 19 too, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord…Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

This is what the Message translation says in verse 18-19, “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master. Husbands, go all out in love for your wives, Don’t take advantage of them.”

It’s easy to look at scripture and manipulate scripture to say what you want it too. This is what Norman Geisler said in the Bible Knowledge Commentary about this scripture:

            “Wives are to submit to their husbands as their heads. This command was not limited to Paul’s day, as is obvious from two reasons he gave elsewhere: (1) the order of Creation (man was created first, then woman; 1 Tim. 2:13); (2) the order  within the Godhead (Christ submits to the Father; 1 Cor. 11:3). Submission or subordination does not mean inferiority; it simply means that the husband, not the wife, is head of the home. If he may be thought of as the “president,” she is           the “vice-president.”^[1] Of course there are moral limits to this submission; it is only as is fitting in the Lord. Just as obedience to government is commanded (Rom.13:1; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 2:13) but only insofar as government takes its place under God (Ex. 1; Dan. 3; 6), even so a wife’s submission to her husband is only “in the Lord.” That is, she is not obligated to follow her husband’s leadership if it conflicts with specific scriptural commands.^[2]

It has to follow scriptural commands. This doesn’t mean if I want a sandwich, Hailee better make it for me without any grief. I think the verse 19 is just as important, Geisler said:

            “Husbands are responsible to love their wives (as Christ loved the church; Eph. 5:28–29). So they are to exercise loving leadership, not dictatorial dominion. Perhaps husbands need this reminder to be tender and loving as much or more than wives need the reminder not to usurp authority over their husbands. Assuming absolute authority will only embitter one’s wife, not endear her. The words be harsh translate pikrainesthe, which is more literally, “make bitter.” (A     different word is used in Col. 3:21; see comments there.) Wives, like tender and sensitive flowers (cf. 1 Peter 3:7), may wilt under authoritarian dominance but blossom with tender loving care. So in a maturing marriage the husband exercises compassionate care and his wife responds in willing submission to this loving leadership.^[3]

I love the phrase happy wife, happy life. If we aren’t trying to make our spouses happy, how do we expect to be happy? Marriage is about sacrifice, looking for each other’s best interest instead of our own. Yes, husbands are called to lead, but lead like Christ leads the church. Having the greatest love and ability to sacrifice himself for the Church. We are supposed to do that for our spouse.

Everyday I grow more in love with my wife. She has been really amazing to me through the years and even more over the past couple of weeks. I really don’t know where I would be without her.

If we claim to be Christian, our life is supposed to be honoring God. This needs to happen in marriage too. What are you doing to honor God in your marriage? What are you doing to show love for your spouse?

Have a great day.

---

^[1] Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.

^[2] Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.

^[3] Norman L. Geisler, “Colossians,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 683.

Choosing your personality like choosing the clothes you wear

Confession time: I have no style. Clothes, style and I do not mix. Anybody who knew me in high school knew I didn’t where jeans. I mostly wore jogging pants and baggy t-shirts. It was not a style anybody repeated. I choose to wear what was comfortable and sometimes ugly at times. Some of the pants where really cheap and made an swoosh sound as I walked. A couple of my friends would say you know when Joel was coming because you could hear the swoosh. Life is full of choices.

We choose what clothes we where and we can choose what personalities we show. Paul talks about different qualities we can choose to have or cloth ourselves with in Colossians 3:12-14…

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Choose the right attribute for your life. Paul talked about compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love. The word bear in the original Greek scripture means to be patient with or to have patience in the sense of enduring possibility. When becoming a Christian, we are told what we can wear in regards to different characteristics. It’s our choice what clothes we wear just like it’s our choice what we choose to show to other people. We have the choice to show these different traits.

Instead of focusing on clothes you want to wear or what you are wearing focus on what traits you choose to show. We have the ability to show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love. Today, what is a trait you can focus on? How can you show people this today?

Have a great day.

Pregnant, not married and in bible college

There is beauty in forgiveness and restoration. A major influence in my life spiritually almost never became a minister. This person told me while in Bible College and working a part time ministry, he got his girlfriend pregnant. For some people and places, this would have disqualified this person from ever being in ministry.

The church he worked at was in a dilemma. He was guilty of a sin. During this time it would have been more acceptable to no longer consider for ministry. Rather then ending his ministry career, they chose to give him a second chance.

A second chance is not a free pass. This man was told he was to take a break from ministry, focus on his soon to be wife and child. For several months he worked a job and worked towards getting everything in order. After this time the church allowed him to come back on staff in ministry. He was married, graduated from Bible College, had a beautiful child and went on to have an extremely successful ministry.

Restoration can be life changing. My mentor is still married to this day has beautiful kids that have grown up loving Jesus. I doubt I would be a Christian today without this man in my life. One decision that was made a long time ago had an influence on my salvation. The church had no clue the decision they made to forgive and restore this man led to me accepting Jesus in my life. They had no idea this man would play a big role in me going into ministry. Him and his wife are inspirations to Hailee and I. If we had issues or struggles we could go to this couple for help and guidance.

Good results can happen from restoration. 2 Corinthians 13:11-14…

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All God’s people here send their greetings. May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

One churches decision to restore one person affected myself and numerous others. Paul ended the book of 2 Corinthians with this scripture. Imagine the effect restoration, peace and encouragement can have on the world? This is what the church is truly for. The church gives us the grace of Jesus, love of God and the close partnership/friendship of the Holy Spirit. We can all have this. Forgiveness even between two people can affect hundreds, thousands and even the world. One person’s restoration brought me to Jesus.

Imagine the difference you can make if you restore, repair and forgive someone in your life? I am not a perfect person. I have needed grace, forgiveness and needed to be restored. The grace of Jesus is a beautiful thing. I am glad this church offered grace and forgiveness because I am a Christian minister as a result. Show grace today.

Have a great day.

FU

Forgive you.

I have seen this video several times, I love it and have shared this video. Christians are supposed to be known for forgiveness and grace. Sometimes we are the furthest things from it. We want people to forgive us for the wrong we have done but don’t give the same gratitude. Honestly, we screwed this up.

Paul shares a story about this in 2 Corinthians 2:5-11. In this story it talks about a guy and how he shamed all these people. These people sent him away and he was an outcast. We aren’t sure what exactly this guy did but he was sent away. Paul is telling the church it’s time to give him a second chance.

2 Corinthians 2:7-8…”Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.”

People deserve another chance. This isn’t a free opportunity to do something stupid and expect forgiveness, but when someone is in the wrong. They admit it and apologize, we can forgive them. When we as a Christian or as a Church don’t have a forgiving heart we are told in what happens in verses 10-11… “Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven – if there was anything to forgive – I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”

I have seen where people have forgotten how to forgive. They grow more cold through the years. Their hearts and attitudes become calloused. When we forgive and accept someone back after forgiving there is a weight lifted off our back. We don’t have to carry that hatred and bitterness that can overcome us. Satan loves that aspect when good people become full of hate and resentful. Sometimes people live years of their lives like this. Imagine if we changed as people, we allowed those burdens to go away. Life can change and sometimes it’s up to us to relieve our selves of those burdens.

If your still feeling bitterness, remember FU.

Have a great day.

Show respect to gain respect

To get respect takes action. There are plenty of people that might like you but not deeply care. How could this be, not genuine care? Are you willing to do to the little things that can make a huge difference? How do you go about gaining someone’s respect?

A while ago I had a good friend. I really enjoyed this friend and would try to help him out from time to time, he would do the same for me. At first we did things that sacrificed some of our free time. Soon it became less then it got to the point we would hang out with each other but not deeply care. It wasn’t their fault or my fault but both our faults. The friendship died and I think for some reason we lost a sense of respect for each other. It’s even worse when you are in a relationship whether a friendship or dating when you are the only one that cares.

Paul wanted to share his faith with everyone and would put himself on a lower level then others to help them experience Jesus. 1 Corinthians 9:22-23…

“To the weak I become weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”

Paul wanted others to see the love of Christ. In order to do this he had to do anything necessary in order to gain the respect of the people he was trying to talk to about Jesus. He was willing to do whatever it took to share this message of love and grace. There was nothing that was to low for him to do.

To gain respect we have to give respect. Nobody wants to hear hollow words. It’s like a person talking about needing to lose weight and ordering two double quarter pounders for lunch. We have to be willing to make a sacrifice to gain respect. Paul was willing to do this. If you want respect it requires trying to go and help people out. Paul was great at doing this to reach people with Christ and it’s about reaching people where they are at. I need to remember to do this. Becoming less so I can reach more. What about you?

Have a great day.

Forgiveness and family

My amazing wife shared this and I wanted to share this with you...

Sometimes when we choose to forgive people it feels like were the ones losing. Like were giving up on our anger and saying the actions that were wrong are somehow now right. That’s not what forgiveness is about and not what it means. Forgiveness really isn’t about the person(s) hurting the family but rather it’s about ourselves and how we grow as people.

In my life I’ve had a lot of people hurt me but one specifically that for 15 years has haunted me. Thankfully because of my foundation and faith I’ve been able to forgive. I don’t forget and now I’m more guarded in certain areas of my life but forgiveness on my part has been given.

When I married Joel, I always said his family was crazy-energetic-dysfunctional and completely amazing. The only family I know who can argue and disagree but love and support at the same time, unconditionally.

At least that’s the way it used to be. Heck, my first year of camping I witnessed drag out fights at dirtball camping trip! Yet we forgive, love and move on. I can’t change anyone’s way of thinking but there are many young people who can read this. To you, I hope you can learn forgiveness by observing some of the most amazing family members you have. There are many I’ve been honored to call-Family. I’m speaking for Joel and myself when I say, were praying for healing for families.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/forgiveness_and_restoration.aspx

Watching a police raid from your house

It’s fun to watch the TV show Cops, it’s even better in person. Hailee and I lived in a questionable area in Lansing, MI. While it would be classified as a bad area, there were mostly good people with just a few bad apples that ruined it. One of the bad apples lived across the street. It wasn’t even the family, it was a relative. This was when the fun began.

I arrived home to see a SWAT vehicle parked across the street. This was better than what I was doing so I stopped and watched Cops from my front porch. They got the guy arrested and a whole bunch of SWAT members were walking around with semi-automatic guns and rifles. I should have grabbed some popcorn because this show was awesome. I even got to witness the slowest get away possible.

As the situation died, another began. As the cops were talking and the front driveway was blocked by a couple of officers. A person walked right out the front door unnoticed and into a car in the driveway. Once the car was started, the officers noticed the car starting to move and one blocked the car from leaving and the other knocked on the window to get the person to stop. The car started edging away slowly and ignored the cops. Finally the cop knocked with the gun they had. The person stopped and got out, it was a 70+ year old women. Man, that was the slowest get away in the world. You can’t make this stuff up. The relative of hers was into selling drugs among other things. The family and neighbor needed help, what could I do?

Ignoring situations don’t prevent bad things from happening. Watching this was fun and interesting yet sad. They were a family in which one got into a bad situation and lived their lives selling drugs, how can I help with that? Romans 12:1-2 (The Message)…

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

We can either watch lives get ruined or do something to change lives. I look back at that situation in that neighborhood, I could have tried helping my neighbors or get to know them better instead of just watching. You can talk bad about this generation or you can do something to help.

Everyone can help even an 80 year old lady in a Mexico prison. A lady who grew up in Beverly Hills went to one of the most dangerous prisons in Mexico. She started serving and loving the inmates in a very dangerous situation. She even broke up a riot.

http://www.catalystspace.com/catablog/full/renegade_nun_a_walking_gift_of_love/

She could have thought she couldn’t help the situation, but God did. God puts people in your life for a reason, some for friendship, some for love, some for you to love. We aren’t going to get along with everyone we meet, but we can still show them love. We aren’t supposed to live life for the American dream. We are called to help others out when they are down.

God brings the best out of us. Jesus gave us the ability to show love to other people because he showed love to us. I wonder what would happen if I showed love to the people around me in Lansing? While you can’t go back, you can go forward, who can you help in your life today? Who can you serve and encourage today? God gave you his best in his son Jesus for your sins, one of the best ways to help others out is to serve them the way God served us. Who can you help today?

Have a great day.

The past does not decide your future

I remember it like I remember a kid stealing my lunch money in elementary.

What high school do you go too?

“Everett,” I replied.

An extremely shocked look came across the face of this guy at a Western Michigan party.

“Dude, I can’t believe you go there,” he replied.

“Why?” I replied.

“Man, there are so many fights, drugs, weapons and guns there.  I couldn’t imagine going to school there.”

“It’s really not bad, I like going to school there,” I stated.

Still shocked, he stated again he couldn’t imagine going to a school with so much crazy stuff going on there.  He followed up telling me this story…

The only bad thing that happened at Bath was at a party/bonfire was a guy was drunk and got into his dad’s gun collection.  He was joking around with a shot gun; it went off and killed one of our friends.  That guy went away for a little while but we heard the year he was going to come back to school the next year.  So me and some of my friends went to the school principal and told him if he steps into the school we will kill him.  He didn’t come back to school that next year and it was a good thing, we would have killed him.  That was the only crazy thing that happened at Bath, but man, I could never go to Everett.

Needless to say, I had an extremely shocked look on my face.

I said, that incident was crazier than anything that happened in all of my years of going to Lansing Public Schools.

He couldn’t believe me.

The past does not decide your future.

Just because your parents might have done wrong things like abuse, drugs, excessive alcohol doesn’t mean you will or give you the right too.

Some of my parents (I come from a multiple divorce family) struggled with alcohol and other forms of abuse.

It doesn’t mean I have too.

I have been reading through the book of Acts.

In it Paul went from not believing in Jesus and actually standing up to kill Christians.

Yet his life changed, Jesus changed his life around and soon he was sharing the Gospel message with people.

From killing Christians to become a Christian, Paul had a major change in his life.

In Chapter 22, Paul told his life story and said some harsh words towards a group of people at the time.

They wanted to beat him.

As they got ready to flog him, he mentions he was a Roman citizen.

It’s stated in verse 29…

“Those who were about to question him withdrew immediately.  The commander himself was alarmed when he realized that he had put Paul, a Roman citizen in chains.”

At the time you were not allowed to harm a Roman citizen without a trial.

The commander could have been in major trouble.

Paul played a card from his past.

He was a Roman citizen, but he was so much more.

It is not bad to remember the past.

It does not make our future.

When I got married my dad (Who was on his third marriage) told me this…

“You know how marriage is not supposed to look.”

Such powerful words.

Can you be someone who learns from others mistakes?

I loved the fact I went and graduated from Everett High School.

I will take all the weird looks and bad things that people say about that school.

It helped shaped me to the person I am today.

Same with the bad situations I went through as a kid.

I might have come from an abusive household at times, but it doesn’t make my family today.

Remembering the past is not bad, learn from it.

Mimic the good from the past and change the bad to make it better.

If you have fallen into the same problems of the past, today is a new day.

Jesus gives everyone another chance.

How do you want the future to be?

What can you do today to start working for that improvement?

If Paul can change his life from a man of killing to a man of grace and mercy through Jesus, you can too.

Have a great day.

Weary

Exhaustion can claim us all.

This has been a great summer but throughout it there have been times when I have been exhausted mentally and physically.
I dealt with some health issues at the beginning of the summer and some other things that just left me completely exhausted.
As a minister, you can’t go to people about your problems.
You might be able to say, yeah I am struggling, but few people know what you go through.
I have about four people I can go to about my problems and struggles.
Ministry can be a very dark and cold place at times.
I have seen some great ministers that have either lost their jobs or moved away for certain reasons this summer and it take a toll on you.
My heart and prayers goes out to them and it makes me think how hard it can be at times.
I recently had a friend who went to a wedding at a church he used to serve at.
He went back to a church that basically fired him without any particular reason two weeks after he told them they were pregnant with their second child.
I asked him how it went and he told me that he got the coldest shoulder from the minister of that church. 
Life can be interesting at times.
There are times we are all exhausted and spent.
I am reading through Acts 21 through a section where Paul is at the end of his mission trip/life.
While at the end of this trip he shares with them, encourages them, warns them, and sheds tears with them and for them.
He shares with them it’s better to give then to receive and ends with verses 37-38 after praying…
“They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him.  What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again.  Then they accompanied him to the ship.”
Paul shared his heart with the people and on this journey they knew it was the last time they would see him again.
When we grow weary and sad, it can affect our actions.
Through it all, Paul went out on a good note with the people.
How do we want to be remembered?
Paul went through it all: health issues, sad, knowing he was going where he was called and it was a tailspin of emotion as he served God with all of his abilities.
As we grow weary, how do you want to be remembered?
What mark do you want to leave on this world?
Paul is a great reminder to me of working through it all to further the kingdom.
I love reading Paul for this reason.
Even when we are exhausted , there is still light at the end of the tunnel.
There is always something to look forward to in life.
Never forget that.
Have a great day.