Pity Party for One Please

Taking a deep breath is extremely hard. For the past three days I have been BFF’s with pneumonia. Pneumonia hasn’t been nice to me. Made it nearly impossible to preach this previous Sunday. Pneumonia almost took away my voice, has made it nearly impossible to do anything that requires a little physical effort. It has kept me from taking a deep breath without coughing out a lung. Pneumonia is not cool. Even with this sickness holding me back, there is one thought that pops in my head, so what?

Over three million people have pneumonia in the United States every year, I am not that sick. I can’t have a woe is me personality. There are people a lot worse then me. I can name several people in my congregation that are currently or have in the past battled cancer. Anyone sick with cancer trumps what I am going through. Sometimes in life we can fail to look at the big picture and see there are people a lot worse then us. I look at Paul and what he shares in 2 Corinthians.

Paul while humble, shared what he went through in chapter 11 some of verse 23-28:

I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. ²⁴ Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. ²⁵ Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, ²⁶ I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. ²⁷ I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. ²⁸ Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. ²⁹ Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?

What I have gone through is nothing compared to Paul. Everything I went through in life is still a smidge or smidge and a half of what Paul went through. I am not worthy to say I am in the same boat of the pain in my life compared to Paul. Paul ended this section of scripture talking about how guards were doing to arrest him inside Damascenes but he was lowered in a basket and was able to escape. We can’t avoid pain in life.

Everyone goes through trials. We all have different injuries some mental and some physical. When you look at the pain in your life, is there someone who has it worse then you? We have trouble sometimes looking past our own problems. We all have to deal with pain and trials in life. There is a phrase what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, do you believe this?

I know in the past some of the trials in my life made me appreciate when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. You will be tested in life, how are you going to respond when the going gets tough. I will make it through pneumonia, Paul survived through several times when he should have died. Jesus was innocent and yet was put on the cross. What can you do to make it through the tough times? Who can you trust through the rough times? Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Have a great day.

Stomach flu on the birthday

Yesterday was not pleasant for me. The stomach flu is never fun, especially when it was on my birthday but it was even worse for Hailee. Hailee set up our kids to be at our good friend Jen’s house and have an amazing birthday celebration for me. About 10:30 things changed when I went to the bathroom for the first of many times throwing up. Within five minutes after that Hailee got a call from Jen, Ty threw up.

After picking them up from Jen’s and getting them back home, Connor started throwing up at about midnight and then Nevaeh followed at 3. I was out of commission, so Hailee took care of all the kids. Then at 6:30 she got sick herself. Sunday we were dead. I had a birthday lunch that consisted of a cracker and a half a cup of water. It was not an easy day. For as bad as I had it, Hailee had it worse taking care of all of us. Life doesn’t always go as planned. At times life is hard, for as bad as it was Hailee reminded me it could have been worse. Nobody had to go to the hospital, nobody was seriously injured, it was just a bug. Even though bad things happen, it was nothing life changing. We talked about celebrating by birthday on another day and life goes on. Sometimes life is not as bad as it seems.

What we often go through is nothing compared to what others go through. I am reading through some of the hardships Paul went through. This guy was beaten and thrown in prison. He faced angry crowds ticked at him, worked till he was dead tired, faced many sleepless nights and was starving. Paul faced some messed up things that I never had to face in life. He was beaten within an inch of death for his faith, I never faced that in my life. Looking back at my birthday yesterday, it was nothing compared to what Paul faced.

How was Paul able to face all of this and still move forward? 2 Corinthians 6:6-7…”in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left.”

Through all the trials Paul faced, we see that he saw a big picture for what he endured. Paul trusted in God and the Holy Spirit through all he went through. He was a honest and loving guy but was called everything but. Through it all he trusted in God. In a little of verse 10 there is an interesting line, “poor, yet making many rich; having nothing and yet possessing everything.”

Often in life we think we are doing good based on the possessions we own. The nicer the house, car, electronic devices, and other worldly possessions the better we are. It’s a false appearance of having it all. Paul didn’t have anything yet made other people rich by giving them the greatest gift possible, eternal life. He led so many people to Christ and to a life that doesn’t end here on earth. Even though he was broke, he had spiritual blessings to make up for that. Do you think God cares about the things you own or do you think he just cares about you?

Through all Paul’s struggles, it puts mine to shame. He went through and faced a tough life not many will face. I am thankful that I only had a temporary sickness on my birthday because it could have been so much worse. Even through the sickness I am glad I have a loving wife to take care of me and everything I go through. I am glad I have Paul who lived a pure life to see other come to Jesus and live eternally. Seeing him go through his hardships reminds me that through the bad I go through I and we can still persevere through what we go through.

Have a great day.

Boston

A marathon effects more than the city it’s in. My friend Kohon mentioned this marathon effected more people and countries then anyone can imagine. Boston has a strict time guideline in order to qualify for the race, some marathoners spend their whole lives trying to qualify for one of the races on their Bucket List. People from all over the United States and the world come to Boston.

Before two reconstructive knee surgeries, I had the goal of running the Boston (Boston is the one of the only marathons that require a qualifying time, I could not make the time cut yet). My time for the marathon was about the time the explosion went off. Long past my marathons days as I look at this tragedy as a minister of Jesus and see the hurt that people post from this. It’s a sad state and often people ask why would a loving God allow this to happen?

Throughout my time as a minister you see a lot of bad things happen to people. Sometimes it’s when people are already down and something worse happens. Haven’t they been punished enough? Then a tragedy like the Marathon happens and people without understanding call out to God, why God why? To answer this I am going to spend the rest of the time talking about suffering and choice.

We all have a choice. There is something called the free will defense that people a lot smarter then I came up with to explain when bad things happen. The free will defense is this…

1.      God is absolutely perfect.

2.      God created only perfect creatures.

3.      One of the perfections God gave some of his creatures was the power of free choice.

4.      Some of these creatures freely choose to do evil.

5.      Therefore, a perfect creature caused evil.

Every day we have the choice to do good or bad. Which do you choose? Today do you choose to go to work/school or the bar/or skip? It’s a choice an individual makes that can affect other people. We make thousands of choices every day that directly affect us and the people around us some directly and some indirectly. The people that chose to do this in Boston, chose to do evil. Their choice affected people all over the world for this international event.

Even with free will, why do people have to suffer? This is a tough question that you can look at with other questions. If God stopped all evil right now what would that look like? If God destroyed everything that caused unjust suffering and evil – what would survive? We can all do evil and that is where we struggle with sin. Suffering might cause us to be protected from an even deeper evil.

Not all suffering can be bad or evil, it can be pain. Sometimes in life we have to suffer to experience something great. I haven’t met a women who has cherished child birth but you love the result when you get that awesome gift of God in your hands. You sometimes have to suffer and endure hardships to get where you want to go in life (School, strict training, unpaid internship etc).

This doesn’t explain the event in Boston but hopefully you would understand a loving God does not want tragedies like this to happen in the world he created. While things like this do happen, sadly. God gave us Jesus to comfort us during these tough times. God is a loving and just God who cares about the people and I am sure is sad over this tragic event.

Through our lives we have a loving God who sacrificed his only son Jesus for us. Jesus took all of our sins and died for us. Through the bad things in life Jesus loves you cares for you and is sad when you are down. Through the suffering Jesus is always there with you. You can always go to him with your problems.

You hurt? Rub some dirt on it

“Everyone’s going to die…” in response a person said, “Yeah, but not this week.” One guy terminally sick and was told he was going to die very soon, the first guy had no clue. Things happen in life that are out of our control. We all have times like this. We have a chance to let a bad event overtake us. Will you let that happen?

Honestly it’s not that bad. This was a phrase I said a week before my baseball season when I was younger. Our first game was a week away and we had one of our final practices. I was the starting catcher. The hitter hit a lazy pop fly in foul territory going towards the dugout/first base side. I lived for moments like this. I threw off my helmet and ran to try to catch up to it. I had a great jump and was about to make a nice diving play, except for one unforeseen problem, a rock. In foul territory was a rock I didn’t see, running full speed I stepped on the rock. It caused me to slip just as I was leaning towards making the catch. I reach out but was thrown into the ground with my wrist being the first thing to hit the ground. I was in pain.

The coach came over to me very quickly and asked if I was alright. Something was wrong, but I wasn’t going to admit that. “Nope, I’m fine,” I stated. I sat out the rest of practice. My wrist hurt and I couldn’t close a baseball glove. After three days of being in pain, I went to the doctors to find out I broke my wrist. I was hurt and I wish rubbing dirt on it would have helped, it did not.

Bad things happen in life sometimes, yet can things really be that bad? We all face different challenges in life. Sometimes those challenges hurt us, they can cut deep. Yet in the scheme of life they can be very small in comparison. Listen to what Paul shares in Romans 8:18…

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Man, there are some verses in scripture I read and feel the power of God. We are suffering people in so many different ways, whether mentally or physically. Yet when we have God and trust in Jesus with our lives, the present sufferings are a blimp on the radar. God is God and will do amazing things. Know this, trust in this, through our imperfections Jesus allowed us to experience eternal life when we give our life over to him. What you are going through Jesus knows about wants to comfort you and wants you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is something to look forward to when you have Christ.

We were never meant to die at the side of the road like roadkill. We have a chance with our life to experience greatness. If you are going through some struggles, hang in there. Sometimes we experience lows in life just to experience greatness or to see how good we have it normally.

Bad things happen but don’t relish in them. Rub some dirt on it, know it’s temporary and God has plans for you! We always have something to look forward to when we are Christians, no matter how bad life can get, we are given eternal life. Don’t stress too hard on small things that have a low value. Hang in there! God is with you!

Have a great day.

God meant for the Connecticut tragedy to happen

Bad things happen in the world. This doesn’t mean that it comes from God (I don’t think God meant for this to happen).  People at times have the worst things to say to hurting people, there was an article I read from Emily C. Heath Dealing with Grief: Five things NOT to say and five things to say in a Trauma involving children that does a great job with this.  She was a Chaplain in the emergency department of a children’s hospital with a level one trauma center.

 

This comes directly from her article, she can say it way better than I could

 

Here are five things NOT to say to grieving family and friends:

 

1.      "God just needed another angel." – Portraying God as someone who arbitrarily kills

kids to fill celestial openings is neither faithful to God, nor helpful to grieving parents.

 

2.      "Thank goodness you have other children," or, "You're young. You can have more kids."

Children are not interchangeable or replaceable. The loss of a child will always be a loss, no matter how many other children a parent has or will have.

 

3.      He/she was just on loan to you from God – The message is that God is so capricious that

God will break parents' hearts at will just because God can. It also communicates to parents and loved ones that they are not really entitled to their grief.

 

4.      God doesn't give you more than you can handle – Actually, some people do get a lot

more than any one person should ever have to handle. And it doesn't come from God. Don't trivialize someone's grief with a "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" mentality.

 

5.      We may not understand it, but this was God's will – Unless you are God, don't use this

line.

 

Here are five things to say:

1.      I don't believe God wanted this or willed it – A grieving friend or family member is likely

hearing that this is God's will from a number of other people. Affirm the idea that it may very well not be.

 

2.      It's okay to be angry, and I'm a safe person for you express that anger to if you need it –

Anger is an essential part of the grieving process, but many don't know where to talk about it because they are often silenced by others when they express their feelings. (For instance, they may be told they have no right to be angry at God.) By saying you are a safe person to share all feelings, including anger, with, you help the grieving person know where they can turn.

 

3.      It's not okay –                                                 It seems so obvious, but sometimes this

doesn't get said. Sometimes the pieces don't fit. Sometimes nothing works out right. And sometimes there is no way to fix it. Naming it can be helpful for some because it lets them know you won't sugarcoat their grief.

 

4.      I don't know why this happened –                 When trauma happens, the shock and

emotion comes first. But not long after comes our human need to try to explain "why?" The reality is that often we cannot. The grieving person will likely have heard a lot of theories about why a trauma occurred. Sometimes it's best not to add to the chorus, but to just acknowledge what you do not know.

 

5.      I can't imagine what you are going through, but I am here to support you in whatever way feels best –                                                     Even if you have faced a similar loss,

remember that each loss is different. Saying "I know how you're feeling" is often untrue. Instead, ask how the grieving person is feeling. And then ask what you can do to help. Then, do it and respect the boundaries around what they don't want help with at this point. You will be putting some control back into the hands of the grieving person, who often feels like they have lost so much of it.

 

If I could add one more, it would be the person that says, “You might wonder why would God allows this to happen….Well, God's not allowed in schools.” I just heard someone say this at a public event with about 100 people around them.  This is awful and bad theology.  We are still protected by free speech and have the right to be Christian, Muslim, Jewish or Hindu in a public school.

 

My heart aches for this school tragedy.  I am continuing to pray for this school and the families. 

 

Have a great day.

Why are you doing it, your never going to make it

There is time when utter determination matters.

Some of the greatest inventions and things we use on an everyday basis were made by people that ended up broke and unnoticed.

Charles Goodyear started the tire and spent his life broke.

He died 40 years before Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company was founded.

He spent his entire life working on a product that left him broke but he believed he could do.

He eventually did, but it was after his death that it took off.

I am glad he stuck through it because I like tires and I couldn’t imagine driving on anything else (Until the future looks like it does in Back to the Future 2).

There is something about a determination that people can’t stop.

I ran a marathon in 2000.

I am not saying this to gloat but to tell you what happened before.

Usually you are supposed to take it easy in running before a marathon.

I had one of my biggest cross country meets of the year the day before.

After running that race I was talking to a family member and told them I had to get ready to go to Detroit for the marathon.

This person told me, “Joel, I don’t understand why you are doing it, you’re never going to make it.”

“Thanks,” I said while laughing.

Four hours and nineteen minutes the next day I finished the marathon.

Sometimes people do not know or understand determination.

Sports scientist looked at what it takes to hit a major league pitcher and came to the conclusion the ball came way to fast and in many different directions.  With human brain signals, there is no physical way the body should relay signals to be able to hit a baseball with the bat.

Crazy how that was said and it doesn’t happen that way.

Faith is the same way.

People have doubt for 2,000 years Christianity wouldn’t make it.

Apostles were just jailed for sharing Jesus.

The Sanhedrin wanted them dead before one named Gamaliel spoke up.

He said this in Acts 36, 38-39…

“Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing…Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

They decided not to kill the apostles (They were still flogged).

Even through the pain of being flogged the apostles continued to sharing Jesus and rejoiced that they could suffer for a cause they believed in.

Do you suffer for a cause you believe in?

The apostles never stopped.

They kept preaching the good news of Jesus.

Determination, the apostles had it.

Do we have the same.

There are things I am determined to do in life.

Being a better husband and father.

Serve God to the best of my abilities.

Improve showing love and grace to all people.

What are you determined to do?

What has slowed you down from doing that?

Goodyear didn’t give up and 40 years after he died, he succeed.

What do you want to succeed in today?

What are you doing to go for what you want?

The apostles wanted to share Jesus and not even flogging could stop them.

What has stopped you?

What can you do to stay determined?

Have a great day.

When life hits the fan it hurts

Bad stuff happens.

I wish it wasn’t the case, but it is.

I know people right now that are going through some messed up situations and it’s rough to think about, more or less go through.

My mind has been blown away with stuff that has been happening to people I know and don’t know.

I have friends and loved ones that are struggling to make it through the day, hoping that today goes better than yesterday or that there is still hope for tomorrow.

There is still hope in the roughest of times.

A while ago there was a rough point in my life.

I worked with a person that made me feel like garbage.

This person made my life miserable for a year.

I would show up to work early (Like 5 or 6 a.m.) just so I wouldn’t have to see them, because a good day was when I didn’t have to see or talk to them.

They made me feel miserable.

After a surprise meeting with all my bosses that this person scheduled, I felt useless and unwanted.

I didn’t eat for two straight days and just wanted to check out.

By the second day, I told Hailee I was fasting, she knew better.

During this time I begged God to get me out of this situation and constantly wondered why he didn’t.

It was a struggle and I hated going through that.

It was a bad year.

Through that, I still knew Jesus was there.

I wanted instant help and it sucked it wasn’t happening as quickly as I wanted.

I learned a lot on faith and hope through that year.

He was watching over me and took care of me even when I didn’t believe he was.

Sometimes we have to go through bad situations to make sure we appreciate what we have in the later.

Jesus said this in John 11:25-26…

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever live and believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this?”

Jesus was talking to Martha, a lady whose brother just died.

They were in a rough moment of life.

Jesus gave them hope because of their faith in him.

Martha went and got Mary and brought her to Jesus, they both told him, if you were here, there brother would have lived.

They were in tears, and Jesus felt this too.

Verse 35 explains Jesus being distraught, “Jesus wept.”

Jesus did cry and having true emotions.

The Jews said this in verse 36, “See how he loved him!”

Just how Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha, he loves us.

Jesus cares for us and gives us hope when nothing else does.

Bad things happen in life.

For some of my friends, my mind is wrecked with what they are going through.

I have been through some messed up situations in my life, and know it’s not easy.

But Jesus cares for us, even when we feel like he’s not there, he is.

Verses 25-26 explain when you have faith in Jesus, believe that he died for our sins that even when we die and leave this earth, we will have eternal life.

Sad things happen in life.

My heart and prayers go out to my loved ones that are going through that storm in their lives right now.

There is still hope, not because of me, but because of Jesus.

There is a hope that only Jesus can give.

Are you ready to give your life for a better life?

Do you want hope when there is none?

Jesus did this for me in my bad time, and he can do this for you.

Have a great day.